I'm Not Going To Not Do Things

So sorry for the lack of posts recently, I've been travelling places a lot- but I managed to type up a few things I've been working on last week whilst at home- here's one of them!

I'm not 100% happy with it, it's a bit simplistic- but I think the message is pretty simple. Let me know what you think!

I’m not going to not do things

I’m not going to
not do things
I’m still going to do things

Because I have to

I can’t not do things
just because there’s a risk
that I’ll have a panic attack

So I’ll go back to uni
do love properly
go to a bar
talk to someone I don’t know
go to someone’s wedding

because I have to

and I’ll get anxious
I’ll get triggered
maybe I’ll have one
maybe I wont

but if I do
If I feel it
get triggered
have one
calm myself down if I can
feel like shit for a couple of hours

and then carry on

because I have to

So I’ll go to a job interview
go shopping by myself
answer the front door
say hi to the neighbours
ring my nan on the phone
and yes, be a fucking psychotherapist
or be anything if I want

so I’ll call across the office at work
stand in a crowded train
speak up in a meeting
go swimming by myself
make small talk at the hairdressers

so I’ll try to do it and fail
nearly vom on a crowded bus
try to speak up at work and fail
have one the day before my wedding
and one at someone else’s wedding

and I’ll get anxious
I’ll get triggered
maybe I’ll have one
maybe I wont

but if I do
If I feel it
get triggered
have one
calm myself down if I can
feel like shit for a couple of hours

and then carry on

because I have to